Friday 6 July 2018

Loving Well 1 John 4:7-21


It’s hard to raise our children or grandchildren today to care deeply and love others well and properly when we hear so much anger and hatred spewed in public today. Our politicians, who should model respect and decency often seem to care only about scoring points against their opponents. There’s racism, hatred and fear directed towards those who are different and it’s played out on social media so our children and youth are saturated in it. Today’s our country’s birthday and there are so many things to celebrate about living in Canada, yet there still seems to be a lack of love for people who are different. Even among churches there can be a lack of love because of differences which comes out in negative, hurtful language. Yet this isn’t anything really new, John is called the apostle of love because he keeps reminding people that the good life is a life of love.
There are a number of words for love in Greek, the word translated as love in this passage is agape. Father John Bakas writes, “The most powerful word in the New Testament is AGAPE...the Greek word for love. It is sacrificial seeking to serve. The word “agape” is rarely found in ancient Greek literature. It only appears in Homer ten times. Three times it appears in Euripides. But it appears 320 times in the New Testament. Agape is sacrificial. It says, I love you when you are not very lovable. Agape is the cross, extending its arms to embrace all humanity. Agape loves when it is not always convenient and when it is not reciprocated. It extends to both the deserving and the undeserving.”
Paul calls us to love one another, to sacrificially love each other, whether the person deserves it or not, even if it’s hard to love or like them. Paul roots this love in God, “everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God because love comes from God.” Love is a verb, a way of being, living and interacting with people. Love is how you live with people, especially people you don’t care for, disagree with, or want to go away. God loves us by sending Jesus, his own son, to be a sacrifice for our sins. This is what agape love looks like. You know the verse, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” God now calls us to live out of gratitude for Jesus’ sacrificial love.
Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” When I read this and think about it, love is tied to suffering. God’s love took Jesus to the cross. Love’s not all fairy tales and happy ever after, love leads to different kinds of suffering because it calls for sacrifice. Joyce and I celebrated 37 years of marriage this past week and this is something we’ve learned at a deep level in our family. When you love, you offer others a piece of your heart and they won’t always treat it well, gently, or with respect. God knows this suffering that comes from loving us with agape love, it cost him his son, because sin entered into the world through the breaking of relationship by Adam and Eve.
Throughout history, God looks down and has compassion on his people as he sees their suffering and this stirs his love. Over and over again it’s told that Jesus saw the suffering of the people and he’s filled with compassion and love. On the way into Jerusalem just before Jesus is crucified, he weeps for the people because he sees the hurt in their lives, the suffering that’s coming, the reality of how sin has broken so much in the world and is going to continue to bring suffering until he returns to end all suffering.
Love brings suffering and the deeper the love, the greater the suffering. When you’ve been married and intertwined your lives together so that you’re one and the Lord calls one of you home, or when a child you have poured love and hope into is taken home by Jesus, the suffering enters deep into your soul. There’s the brokenness of betrayal from someone you love, whether it’s a spouse or child, the hurt goes deep because you love deeply. The only love that counters hurt this deep is the love of Jesus, a redeeming love that says, “I understand your pain, I was there, and I am with you now.”
In one of her latest blog posts, as she watches her daughter working with her dad in the fields breaking the earth for seed, Ann Voskamp writes, “Relationship is the essence of reality — and to have a relationship, you have to learn how to suffer—and to suffer like Christ, because this is love. Tell that to the newly weds, the new parents, the new graduates, this brave new world. When you are most loving—suffering will most likely result. Doing the right thing may not look like success but like suffering—and that may be the most successful of all. Doing the right thing—may mean suffering through things—because things are broken in this world. But this isn’t the sexy or trendy thing to concede, so nobody’s trying to hawk this on the social media streams or the shelves of Target and my heart kind of breaks. Watching the breaking up of the earth down the expanse of the field, it can come: Is God’s definition of love about breaking our happiness—or breaking us free from the self-love that threatens to imprison us all? This is the question that can reshape our world. God is love—doesn’t translate into: God is about my desires. God is love—doesn’t mean God is about self-fulfillment. God is love—means to deny self. God is love—means God is about suffering. God is about being broken open and poured out. Love doesn’t win if you’re really just loving yourself.”
Paul writes, if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is why we’re given the Holy Spirit, to guide us to acknowledge Jesus as the Son of God, and when we do, we know that God lives in us and we live in God. The question then is, do we love each other with an agape love, a love that is sacrificial and focused on being a blessing to others because this is who God is, what Jesus revealed to us in his life and teaching; a love that is about denying ourselves for our brothers and sisters and Jesus. When Paul tells us that God is love, it’s self-sacrificial agape love that’s not afraid to suffer. Jesus knows that love draws people to him, that love saves lives, that love conquers over a host of sins. It shows people who experience this love that they matter, that they are noticed. This kind of love drives away fear because we know that we don’t stand alone, that Jesus stands with us. Are we willing to pay the cost, to put others first, to love and welcome the unlovable, to embrace those who are different and allow them to guide us into knowing Jesus through different eyes, are we willing to sacrifice our dreams and wants so others can come to know Jesus’ love for them?
Love gives us confidence as we journey through life. Children with parents who are serious about their own faith in Jesus and helping their children grow in Jesus, learning to love like Jesus, modelling Jesus love in their own lives, raise children who are able to face life without fear and confidence because they have experienced the blessings seeing the power of agape love lived out. This is why we do mission trips, this is why we are rebooting our youth ministry this fall, but mission trips and youth ministry alone are not enough. As parents you need to place Jesus first and teach your children to put Jesus first. I know you want them to have the things of the world, to fit in and have whatever you feel you missed out on, but if you want children who grow up into adults who know what deep meaningful love is and how to love well, children who can change the world, it begins with teaching them to focus first on Jesus and his love by modelling it yourself.
Grandparents, you also have a role to play, sharing your stories of God’s love, of Jesus’ presence in your life and modelling it in your lives. A grandparent’s influence is powerful, especially when you are working with your children and church family to raise them to be Jesus followers who love as Jesus loves. It all comes down to the fact that we love because God first loved us. Shaping our lives and our church around this will impact your families and the community in powerful ways as we live it out in relationship with all those God has placed in our lives.




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