1 John 3:1-3 Loved

Proverbs 19:22 tells us, “What a person desires is unfailing love.” The word for love here is ‘hesed,’ a special word in Hebrew that speaks to loyal unfailing faithful love and grace. The En-Gedi Resource Center describes this Hebrew word as, “the gracious forgiveness that comes from love that is so enduring that it persists beyond any sin, always seeking to forgive.” The GEMS girls club theme this past year was “Loved;” discovering that they are loved. We have been created to be loved. You might wonder where I find that thought in the Bible, and I believe we find it already in the creation account where God says, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness.” We are made in God’s image to be loved, to be cherished, made precious, as Paul later says, “We are God’s masterpieces.” We were created to be in relationship with God, which to me means God made us to love us.

John points us to just how much God loves us, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” For those of us who have adopted children in our families, or are adopted ourselves, we know the power and blessing in this simple sentence. God, our Father has chosen us to be his children, he didn’t have to make us his children, he chose to, and he chose to knowing how messed up we are, knowing how often we will hurt him, turn our backs on him, reject him even, and still he has chosen each one of you listening here this morning to be his daughter or son, to be princesses and princes in the greatest kingdom ever, the kingdom of heaven! Talk about love!

There’s just one problem though. If we miss the amazing truth that God loves us, loves us so deeply that he gave his own son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so that we can be called children of God, then our hearts go looking for love in all the wrong places, as the old song goes. If we don’t experience healthy safe love at home from our parents and family, we will go looking for it. We see this happen in some families where a child may not feel loved, or there are issues of abuse or neglect, and the child will go looking for love from someone else. Even when you’re doing your best as a parent, the power of our culture is pervasive, especially through social media.

As a youth pastor, I saw this played out way too many times. Bullying and abuse are way too common. We live in a society that is especially hard on young girls. The GEMS organization has done a study on the impacts of our culture on young girls, and girls in churches and Christian schools are just as vulnerable to these influences as other girls. Our culture encourages girls to look for love and acceptance through their appearance, performance, popularity, experiences, or social media and it can be brutal on them emotionally and spiritually and even physically.

Little Big Town, a country music group, recently released a song called The Daughters that speaks about expectations on girls and young women today, here are some of the lyrics:

Oh girl, wash your face before you come to the table
Girl, know your place, be willing and able
Take it on the chin, let the best man win
Girl, shoulders back and stand up straight
Girl, watch your mouth and watch your weight
Mind your manners, smile for the camera

Girl, don't be weak but don't be strong
Say what you want, just as long
As you nod your head with your lipstick on

I wash the dishes, feed the kids, and clean up all this mess
Do my best, forgive myself, and look good in this dress

And pose like a trophy on a shelf
I'll dream for everyone, but not myself

This has had a huge impact on our girls. Girls as young as 5 are worried about their weight and looks, 50% of girls aged 12-16 have experienced some form of depression, and 70% of girls feel like they don’t “measure up.” I have seen this in my own family and it’s a tragedy. This will often carry over into adulthood, I’m often amazed at how many adults are insecure and unhappy because they constantly compare themselves and their lives to what they see on social media.

Mother Teresa said that the worst poverty of all is loneliness, the absence of love. When you are searching for love, you are more vulnerable to being lied to and willing to do almost anything to experience love. Some of the hardest times I’ve experienced as a pastor is walking alongside women who have experienced abuse and rejection and who keep returning to their partners because they’re afraid not to return because they believe that no one else will love them, that they’re damaged goods.

Pastor Miles McPherson writes, “If your love can see the pain and hopelessness in someone’s heart, there is a good chance your love will speak to them; there is a good chance your love will encourage them.” Knowing that you are a beloved child of God will not prevent you from never getting hurt, but it can help make sure that the hurt doesn’t overwhelm you. Reading the story of the Apostle Paul taught me the importance of knowing deep in your heart that you belong to God and that he loves you and has not forgotten you; seeing your times of pain as times where God is drawing close to you to help you rely more on him, leading you to trust more in him.

In the times of hurt, God can and will use you to encourage others, showing others that there is a way forward, that you can find healing, hope and love in Jesus and that Jesus will bring people into your life to walk with you. This is Paul’s point in 2 Corinthians 1:3–7, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.” Even Jesus walked through pain and suffering to bring us the forgiveness and renewal that we need in order to be called children of God. Pain is often one of the ways God uses to help us connect with one another and give us opportunities to show love.

John reminds us that we know what love looks like in verse 16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” This is the Good Friday message: love drove Jesus to the cross, love brought him to the grave and love rose him from the grave to wash us clean from our sin and heal us from our brokenness. But this is also a call for us to be willing to love like Jesus. John goes on in verse 16, “And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”

Love is experienced in relationship, but it may not always be felt right away by the person you’re loving on. Joyce and I were foster parents for many years and blessed by having a number of the children that came into our home truly become part of our family, but that didn’t happen overnight, and it took some of our children years to really experience the love we were trying to pour into them. Sometimes hurt runs really deep, but we also know that Jesus’ love is able to bring healing to even the most broken of hearts and lives and he uses us to bring that love.

If you are struggling, we’re here to walk with you and help you experience Jesus’ love and strength, if you’re doing well, keep reaching out to the people around you to keep reminding them of your love, a love that comes from our God who calls us his children!