Brave, broken Peter; strong and weak, bold and cowardly all at
the same time. Mathew’s telling of Peter’s story is a hard one, a story where
Peter is left broken and weak, weeping bitterly. Earlier in the evening, Jesus
told Peter that he would disown him three times, and we know Peter’s answer, “Even if I have to die with
you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.” But Peter can’t live up to his bold words,
just a couple of hours later, Peter can’t even stay awake while Jesus prays,
even though Jesus asked him and James and John to stand watch for him. Then
Peter cuts off the ear of the servant of the high priest when Jesus is arrested
in the garden. Now, in this morning’s passage, Peter disowns Jesus three times,
just as Jesus had said.
There are so many questions in this story, how did Peter turn
from being so bold and brave to being so cowardly so quickly? Was he afraid that
once they know he is one of Jesus’ followers that they would also remember that
he was the one who cut off the servant’s ear? Is Peter afraid that he will be
tried alongside Jesus, does seeing Jesus in front of the Sanhedrin, the
religious court suddenly make all Jesus’ predictions of his death real to
Peter? There’s so much we don’t know about what is going on inside Peter’s
head. In Matthew’s telling of the story, this is the last time in his gospel
that Peter’s name is mentioned; we don’t hear any words of forgiveness, we’re
left hanging about Peter’s standing with Jesus.
The last we hear of Peter by name in Matthew’s gospel is, “Then he began to
call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a
rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the
rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept
bitterly.” Let’s sit with the rejection of Jesus by Peter for a moment.
It became so much more than just, “I don’t what you’re
talking about,” Peter even called down curses to emphasize that he’s not
connected to Jesus at all. Now Peter’s devastated; it’s sinking in exactly what
he’s done. To emphasize Peter’s disowning of Jesus, Matthew follows Peter’s
story with Judas hanging himself out of his sense of deep guilt and sorrow.
Question: have there been times when you denied knowing
someone because you were embarrassed of them? How did that make you feel?
Is there forgiveness for Peter, is God’s grace and the
forgiveness that Jesus prays to the Father for on the cross when he asks, “Forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing,”
for Peter too? There are so many people, so many followers of Jesus who live
with this kind of question still today. We know the cross, we know Jesus’
sacrifice on the cross for our sin, we sing about amazing grace, we know Jesus’
resurrection from the dead is about new life for us, but still our hearts ask,
“Can I really be forgiven, is God’s grace for me too, why would Jesus
forgiven me, does he really know me, do I deserve it?” These are heart
breaking questions that come out of hurt and doubt, out of brokenness, which is
why they are so hard.
Most people don’t plan to fail, they don’t set out to fail or
fall, to hurt others, God or themselves, and yet it happens so often. Often it
happens because we think we’re stronger, wiser or cleverer than we really are.
Many of us don’t have a good sense of our own weaknesses in some of these areas
of our lives, or we may not have a willingness to admit any weaknesses. It’s
amazing to me how easily we find excuses for our sins or failings, or how
quickly we minimize our sin until it rises up and slaps us in the face with its
seriousness and consequences.
Jesus is about to be executed. Plans are being made to make sure
that there’s no way for Jesus to escape the cross. People are even willing to
lie to make sure Jesus is convicted. Peter’s disowning of Jesus adds to the weight
and pain of Jesus’ journey to the cross for our sin. Peter is a reminder of how
quickly we can find ourselves in a position where we might turn our back on
Jesus for any number of reasons. This often happens even after hearing Jesus’
warning in Matthew 10, “Whoever
acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in
heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in
heaven.”
Question: have
you ever lost a friendship because you said something cruel and hurtful? Did
you try to make it right again?
These are hard words, words that are likely echoing through
Peter’s heart right now. But Jesus isn’t done with Peter yet, Jesus’ love and
grace shine through. In the cross we find forgiveness, we find hope. It’s a
costly hope and grace, forgiveness comes at a huge cost to Jesus. on the cross
he faces Satan’s power while carrying the weight of the sin of the world on his
shoulders. The cross is filled with physical, emotional and spiritual pain as
our brokenness is taken with Jesus into the grace so that new life might rise
up in Jesus’ resurrection!
We move from Matthew’s Gospel to John’s Gospel and John’s
account of how Peter is shown forgiveness and grace. “When they had finished
eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than
these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my
lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered,
“Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The
third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt
because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you
know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very
truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you
wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else
will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus
said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then
he said to him, “Follow me!”
Peter is given the opportunity to offer three ‘yeses’ to Jesus as
a contrast to his three ‘no’s’ the night of Jesus’ trial. Jesus has
cooked them all breakfast, they’re eating together, a good feeling. In this
moment of hospitality on Jesus’ part, he turns to Peter and offers grace and
restoration. Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, using the Greek word for love “agape” the first two times, which is a higher, deeper
kind of love and Peter responds by saying that he does love Jesus, but uses the
Greek word for love that is “philos,” brotherly
love. The third time Jesus also uses “philos”
love when he asks Peter if he loves him and Peter tells Jesus, “Of course I philos love you.” Jesus adjusts to who we are and our
capabilities and cracks, and then continues to work in us, to go deeper with us
and in us to grow our love from philos brotherly
love to the deeper committed agape love.
Question: how hard is it to say “I was wrong, I’m sorry” when
someone asks you to apologize?
Peter was broken, a cracked jar of clay; now Peter’s restored by
Jesus, renewed and forgiven! His cracks are still visible, still there, but they
now add to the beauty of his ministry, giving him the strength to be bold for
Jesus, filled with Jesus’ strength and boldness rather than his own. It’s no
accident that it’s Peter on Pentecost who stands up to the crowd and preaches
Jesus Christ, who explains the coming of the Holy Spirit. We’re reminded that
Jesus gave Peter his name, “The Rock” before Dwayne Johnson claimed the
name, and told Peter that on the rock of his confession that Jesus is the Messiah, the church will be built and the gates
of Hades will not over come it! Jesus uses Peter to lead the disciples
to begin the church, to change the world with his bold message that Jesus is
Lord!
If you’re wrestling with feeling like you don’t love Jesus enough, if
you’re wondering if you can be forgiven, if your sin is feeling too large to
ever be forgiven, know that Jesus gets it, his grace is big enough for you and
your past, his desire is to restore you and have you experience his forgiveness
and with it comes the challenge to allow him to use you, cracks and all to grow
his kingdom here. Jesus isn’t done with you yet, he loves you with a deep agape love, and he loves you right into forgiveness.
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