Philippians 4:2-9 Gentleness

 

Paul writes this letter to the church in Philippi while in prison in Rome. He’s facing a trial with Caesar and there’s no guarantee he’s going to be set free. Paul’s letter to the church here is one focused on encouraging and building them up; you can tell that he really cares about the people in this church. He reminds them of what being a follower of Jesus looks like, encouraging them in chapter 1, “to conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ,” which is quickly followed by describing what the attitude of Jesus is in chapter 2. Running through this letter is the theme of joy, in spite of persecution and difficult times. Paul writes, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” This is not meant to make those who struggle with depression or mental health feel guilt, Paul simply wants to point us to the good news of Jesus, and a reminder that when Jesus returns there will be healing and release from the chains of depression and mental health struggles.

Growing up, gentleness wasn’t necessarily something I was taught as a boy, it always felt like a girl thing. Boys were supposed to be strong; they didn’t cry or show weakness. I know, sounds old-fashioned and chauvinistic, but that was the culture I was raised in. Gentleness was also not seen as a positive character trait in the time of Jesus and Paul. They were being ruled by Rome, a military power that preferred strength and saw gentleness as a weakness. Yet Paul calls on the people of Philippi to “let their gentleness be evident to all.” Gentleness is outward looking, it’s about humility, and being considerate of others. Paul talks about gentleness because two people he cares about are in a big disagreement.

People today often focus on strength rather than gentleness. Omid Safi, an Iranian-American professor at Duke University, writes, “Ours seems to be a world that values “strength.” We want “hard” bodies, “strong” minds, “tough” wills, “hard as nail” determination, “rugged” personalities, “sturdy” character, and so on. I wonder if we have confused hardness with the strength it takes to truly give and receive love. Let us praise softness. I’m speaking here of hearts, of soft hearts, of gentle spirits. I’m speaking of the gentleness to give and receive love.”

Gentleness is a quiet strength with the power to change how other people act and react to the things happening around them. Teachers know this well. When dealing with children who are angry and on the edge of getting out of control; a gentle voice, a soft touch, along with patience, calmness, and love are usually able to help the child settle down and even see things differently. I have seen this in hospitals with families in panic, families who are angry and frustrated, often because they don’t know what’s going on, and then a nurse or chaplain or pastor comes alongside them, gently and compassionately helping them find calmness, strength, and ability to face the situation they’re in from a place of more strength. In a hospital waiting room I watched a physically powerful man filled with deep anger move back from his anger when a nurse gently talked with him, addressing the situation, showing a willingness to listen, and the compassion that shows they truly cared for the man and his wife. Gentleness sees the person before seeing what they’ve done or what they’re going through. Gentleness is one person’s soul reaching out to another person’s soul who is struggling.

 

The Preaching and Worship website reminds us that “true Christ-like gentleness is rooted in strength and assurance. Christians are gentle not because they lack all conviction but because they are so convicted of the truth of the gospel that they feel no need to scream about it or foist it onto others in brusque and brash ways. Gentleness may conjure up the image of a lamb and, if so, that is apropos to Christ as the Lamb of God. But Christ is also rightly depicted as the Lion of Judah. The gentleness of Christ as Lamb is rooted in the power of Christ as Lion.”

Paul calls Gaius to gentleness as he guides Paul’s friends.  Euodia and Syntyche’s disagreement is serious enough for Paul to call Gaius and the church to help the women to work their disagreement out. Focusing on gentleness and joy feels strange, especially when dealing with conflict; yet gentleness seems to just slip in unexpectedly. Why rejoice and be gentle? Because the Lord is near!

Paul is a wise and educated person and knows a lot about how people work emotionally and spiritually. He doesn’t quote Proverbs here, but the emotional wisdom of Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” shapes his call to Euodia and Syntyche to reconcile.  Paul writes in Ephesians 4:1–3, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Mark D. Roberts writes about the importance of unity in the church and explains the importance of humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance. “If a Christian community is going to be unified, in reality and not just in theory, then its members will need to be humble, gentle, and patient. They will need to put up with each other. We begin to "make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit," not by grand pronouncements, nor by focusing on the oddities of others, but rather by acting humbly, gently, patiently, and tolerantly.” This is true for all relationships: family, marriage, friendships, at work or school.

Jesus points us to his own gentleness in Matthew 11, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” It’s the gentleness of Jesus that creates trust in him, confidence that when we come to him, that he will give us strength when we are weak. Jesus is the gentle soul who attracts children, with whom outcasts feel comfortable, and who is the gentle shepherd who describes himself as gathering up lost sheep in his arms.

What does gentleness in the Bible look like? In Titus 3:2 “slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone,” gentleness cam also be translated as humble or meek, while in James 3:17 we read, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” Here the word considerate can also be translated as gentleness. Then in 1 Peter 2:18 we read, “Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh,” considerate can again be translated as gentle and is contrasted with harsh. But at its heart, gentleness sees the image of God in everyone and humbly comes alongside people to help them see Jesus in their lives and find hope in God’s love.

Gentleness in the Bible is multi-faceted, meaning that there’s a lot to this word. Gentleness is seen as part of our character, part of who we are; it’s not just something we do, it’s who we are. Gentleness is important in growing a strong unity within the church which is made up of very diverse people. In many cases, we call people brother and sister who we would never have built relationships if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit bringing us together in the church. It takes gentleness, humility, and consideration for each other in order to grow the trust needed to be family together. Gentleness takes hard work inside our own hearts to grow, and it takes hard work to practice regularly and consistently with others, both in and outside of the church family. Following Jesus means growing up and becoming mature people who are consistently focused outwards with grace towards others instead of ourselves. There is little room for selfishness as a follower of Jesus.

Richard Mouw writes that “many convicted Christians place a central emphasis on the harsher side of the Bible's portrayal of God's character: sovereignty, holiness, power, wrath, and the like... God is a sovereign ruler — but in Jesus Christ, he made it clear that he is that rare kind of ruler who comes to his people in the form of a servant. God is holy — but his holiness is revealed in his love for us. God is all-powerful — but his supreme power is displayed in the weakness and vulnerability of the cross... As agents of God's righteousness, we are called to imitate the divine character. In our efforts at public discipleship, we need to cultivate the traits that are associated with God's own kindness and gentleness."

Gentleness, a characteristic of God himself, part of the fruit of the Spirit, may you experience the gentleness of Jesus and reach out in gentleness into our community and touch everyone with God’s grace and love.