A Broken Family - 2 Samuel 13:1-22

This is hard story. God gives us the Scriptures to reveal who he is and our need for a saviour, revealing the darkness of sin. This story of Amnon and Tamar is about wrong desire, deception, sexual sin, and the brokenness that comes from sin. Tamar’s betrayed by her half-brother, and her father fails her in a deep way. This is a story with no redemption or hope; it’s a story of the darkness sin brings; there’s no happily ever. It’s also reality, already in kindergarten we’re teaching our children about safe touch, bad touch. We may not want to talk about abuse, but it’s real.

It begins with Amnon, the oldest son of King David who’s obsessed with his half-sister Tamar. He supposedly loves her, but even if it’s love, it doesn’t mean it’s right to act on it. This sounds strange in our culture where feelings are given priority when determining whether something is right or wrong. “If I really love someone or something, God must want it for me,” is common thinking. The mental and emotional gymnastics some people go through to make something wrong seem right no longer surprises me.

A third person enters the story, Jonadab, Amnon’s cousin. His ethics comes down to “might is right.” Amnon’s the oldest son of the king so no one should deny him anything he desires. We hear an echo to a later king, Ahab, whose evil wife Jezebel held this same philosophy. When Ahab desires a certain piece of land, Jezebel trumps up a charge against Naboth and has him executed so Ahab could have what he wanted. Might makes right, a philosophy still prevalent today. The belief that leaders should serve rather than be served has seldom been respected. Jonadab makes a plan to have Tamar come to serve Amnon while Amnon pretends to be sick. When David comes to see him, Amnon asks for Tamar to care for him, all so Amnon can have his way with her.

This is predator type of behaviour. Predators carefully observe their victims, seeking to isolate them so they can take advantage of them. This happens in all kinds of settings, including churches and church families. This is why we’re working to be proactive in protecting our children, seniors, and vulnerable members, why Bethel takes its safe church policy seriously, because bad things can happen in good places. King David’s a man after God’s own heart, and yet the horror of abuse happens even in his own family.

Jonadab’s plan works and Tamar’s sent to care for her half-brother. She’s unprepared for the evil planning of her half-brother and his advisor. Misplaced trust is one of a predator’s advantages. Amnon sends everyone out of the room; now there are no witnesses, no accountability, no protection for Tamar who’s extremely vulnerable. When Tamar goes to serve Amnon, he grabs her, “Come to bed with me, my sister.” What he’s demanding of her is against God’s laws: Deuteronomy 27:22, “Cursed is anyone who sleeps with his sister, the daughter of his father or the daughter of his mother.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!” God adds to this command in Leviticus 18:24–25, “‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants.” Amnon knows all this, yet still follows his wrong desires.

4 times Tamar says, “No!” She’s a woman of honour. She offers Amnon a different choice, one that is still hard for her, but saves her honour, a choice often found among royalty in other nations, even if it still disobeyed God’s word in Deuteronomy. Tamar begs Amnon, “Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” Amnon ignores her and takes her by force. There’s no love here; love seeks to protect, to honour, to lift up; not to take and destroy. All those protestations of love for Tamar prove meaningless once he gets what he wants; it’s all lust. Most abusers try to fool themselves and others, but their declarations of love are false, driven by sinful desire, power, and lust; not God given and shaped love. Tamar tries one last time, “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me,” appealing to Deuteronomy 22:28–29, “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives,” but Amnon throws her out.

Tamar’s brother Absalom takes her into his own household to shield her from the shame of what’s happened, telling her, “Be quiet for now my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” Tamar’s desolate. Secrecy is common and enables abusers, prevents justice, and often leads to more abuse. The importance of being proactive to prevent abuse, to create safe places that prevent secrecy, that puts in place policies and procedures to make abuse of vulnerable people and children extremely difficult, cannot be overstated. Jesus embraces children, valuing them, in Mark 9:42 he warns us, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.” Jesus reveals a deep compassion for the oppressed and hurting, this shapes who we want to be as Bethel, a safe place to belong to.

In Alberta, 2023 saw a 10-year high in calls for help. There was a 19-per-cent increase in shelter use by those escaping domestic violence. This is a nationwide trend: intimate partner violence rates have been increasing across the country. Statistics Canada reporting tells us that from 2018 to 2023, family violence and intimate partner violence rose alongside an increase of police-reported violent crime. It happens, even in our community, we have to be proactive rather than reactive in working to keep our members safe. We’re called to battle sin and evil, yet even safe church policies can only go so far, the responsibility begins with each of us. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3–7, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” The battle against sin begins in ourselves.

King David’s furious, but doesn’t hold Amnon accountable, increasing Tamar’s pain and the anger of Absalom. David’s refusal to hold Amnon accountable leads to even more brokenness as Absalom seethes in silence, and later arranges for Amnon’s murder, and rebels against his father which leads to his own death. Evil leads to brokenness; a lack of justice and accountability leads to more brokenness.

Bethel has developed our safe church ministry to make our church family a safe place, a healthy family, a place to flourish, and grow in our faith and gifts. We take our responsibility to our children, seniors, and vulnerable adults seriously because one incident of abuse has ripple effects that keeps on growing and devastates so many people’s faith, lives, and trust in Jesus, including the abuser’s family and loved ones.

For those who’ve experienced abuse, our safe church committee, myself, Tammy, and Bowen, our chair of council, are here to walk alongside you; to help you find safe Christian counselling, connecting to the proper authorities, and helping you find healing. Jesus came to sacrifice himself on the cross, not only for the forgiveness of our sins, but to also bring healing and hope. When accusations are made, we find qualified people to walk with each person involved. Jesus offers you this invitation in Matthew 11:28–30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  

Jesus can take us from a place of brokenness and shame, to healing, wholeness, and hope. He gives us a new identity as a precious child of God, washed clean from sin and sin done against us. The Holy Spirit reminds us that God is a God of justice and will hold those who abuse accountable. Our trust and hope lie in Jesus, come and rest in his arms of strength. Let us work together to be a safe place that honours God and the peace he offers, a glimpse of the heavenly kingdom Jesus is bringing.

 

 

 

 

Generosity - Acts 4:32-5:11

When I was in elementary school at the Thunder Bay Christian School, a friend from outside our church and school community came with to our annual bazaar with his parents. Part of the bazaar was a cake auction at the end of the evening, and like here, there were astronomical bids for cakes. My friend’s parents were amazed at the generosity of those who bid on the cakes. My dad told them that generosity is part of our response to God’s generosity to us in providing for us. It confused me later when I would see the same community use their money as a weapon, holding back on giving when they didn’t like some of the decisions made by church council. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. Our hearts and motivations, when it comes to generosity, are often mixed and can be shaped by both gratitude and selfishness.

We see the Holy Spirit powerfully at work after Pentecost, uniting believers in Jesus, bringing unity, and leading them to embrace again many of the teachings and ways God had given to Israel after freeing them from slavery in Egypt. God gives them a way of living with him and each other that reveals his heart, especially for those who find themselves falling on hard times. We see God’s love and grace especially in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for our sin and hard hearts. God’s grace and generosity is revealed in the resurrection of Jesus and the giving of the Holy Spirit, which is now working in this new community of believers in Jesus.

Barnabas responds to God’s call to generosity in Deuteronomy 15:7–8 and 10–11, ^“If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need… Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore, I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land.”

Grace leads to love for the other. The apostle John picks up on this in 1 John 3:16–18, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” John is called the apostle of love; focusing on God and Jesus’ deep sacrificial love for us. I am thankful Jesus is so generous with his love towards us, even giving his life so we can experience new life. Thankfully his love is not tempered by selfishness of greed, as our love so often is. Love is shown through action; love shapes our choices and actions and flow out of our character and gratitude to God’s grace. Barnabas doesn’t have to sell his land to help others, he chooses to in response to Jesus’ love and sacrifice.

Luke then reminds us of the dark side of our souls. Like Barnabas, Ananias and Sapphira sell a piece of land, but this is where the story shifts. There’s a sense here of rivalry; pride or greed perhaps? Ananias also brings the proceeds of the sale of the land, or at least some of the proceeds. He holds some of the money back for himself, but he makes it look like he’s given everything to the apostles, just like Barnabas. Ananias wants to look as generous and amazing as Barnabas. There’s nothing wrong with keeping some of the money for himself, it's his after-all, he’s still donating a lot to the church; the sin’s found in his heart, in his deception, greed, and pride.

Why we do something is as important as what we do; the why reveals where our hearts, values, and identity really lay. What we do and who we are as followers of Jesus need to be the same. When they’re not the same, the biblical word is hypocrisy, referring to actors, putting on different faces to play a role. Peter addresses this in his responses to Ananias and later to Sapphira, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” Then Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord?” Both experience the consequences of their deception, falling dead, and “Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.”

This is a hard story; often I’ve had people ask why God would be so harsh over such a small lie, we’ve all done worse. What we hear in this hard story is an echo to another time in Israel’s history during a major step forward in God’s redemptive history. It’s at Jericho’s fall as Israel’s finally entering the Promised Land and beginning the process of claiming it for themselves. Jericho is the first major battle Israel faces as they seek to conquer the land, and God demands that everything in the city be devoted to him. After the fall of Jericho, a man named Achan decided to take a beautiful robe, silver, and gold for himself, burying it in his tent, stealing from God, figuring God wouldn’t notice or mind.

The cost of Achan’s theft from God is the death of him and his family by stoning. Ananias and Sapphira are accused of lying to God and testing the Holy Spirit, basically stealing from God, and the result’s death, echoing back to when God gives Adam and Eve one command, “Don’t eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil for the penalty is death.” Ananias and Sapphira aren’t just fudging on the selling price and keeping a few dollars in their pockets, they’re testing the Holy Spirit, “I want all the benefits of being part of God’s family, but I don’t want to honour God with my life; I will follow Jesus on my terms, not his.” God doesn’t need your money, what he demands is your everything, your entire life and heart for his kingdom. God gives us everything we have, wealth, talents, or time, in order to use and develop them for him and the kingdom of heaven.

As part of your everything, God desires your absolute loyalty and love, to make nothing more important in your life than him. Achan, Ananias, and Sapphira made money more important than God. Jesus talks a lot about possessions. In Luke 12:15 Jesus warns, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” In Mark 12:41–44, Jesus uses a widow as an example of what loyalty and love to God and neighbour looks like, “Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” This offering was used to help the poor and widows; it was above their tithing. Jesus marvels at her generosity, recognizing her love of God and neighbour being lived out here. This is heart giving, full trust in God giving, total life giving to God. Ananias and Sapphira’s story reminds us that outside of God lays death, while in Jesus we find life.

In the kingdom of heaven, loving God is the first commandment and the second is to love our neighbours. Paul picks up on Jesus’ teaching; in 2 Corinthians 8:7–8 Paul writes, “since you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you—see that you also excel in this grace of giving. I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others.” Paul offers a warning as well, 2 Corinthians 9:6–9, ^“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  

Many of us were never taught how to give, we learned by watching and through reading the Bible. If you want to learn to be more generous, begin small. Begin with a couple of dollars every week, after a few months, increase it by a dollar. It’s about growing in trusting God to provide, and it starts small, but like our faith, we work at it to grow our giving. Choose something important to you to give to. Don’t forget to surround your giving with prayer, asking for the Holy Spirit to guide and shape your heart. As you increase your giving, you will discover joy in giving, a deeper faith, the blessing from the Holy Spirit, and a full life.

 

The Holy Spirit, The Teacher - John 14:22-31

          

Our passage this morning is part of a section that begins with Jesus washing the disciples’ feet and ends with Jesus being arrested. Jesus is preparing the disciples for his death and resurrection, which includes the promise of the Holy Spirit. This morning we’re focusing on Jesus’ promise of the gift of the Holy Spirit which is fulfilled on the feast of Pentecost.

When things are going well, we think less about our faith and God, and focus more on what we want. We don’t think about difficult times, our faith feels strong and confident, then the ground under us shifts and we begin to feel unsure about life and our faith gets tested. The disciples, on their way to Jerusalem had been arguing about who was going to get the places of honour and power in the coming kingdom Jesus keeps talking about. Jesus gives them a lesson in humility by washing their feet, and talks about his death. Just before going to the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus says in Matthew 26:31–32, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” The disciples’ confidence is being shaken.

Jesus tells his disciples that he’s going home, “Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” The disciples are unsure what Jesus is talking about, they sense something bad’s about to happen, but not sure what. Jesus’ talk of leaving, his earlier talk about being killed is sinking into the disciples’ consciousness.  

Jesus knows things are going to get hard for them, so he reminds them of the importance of obeying his teaching; reassuring them of the Father’s love. We see the unity between Father and Son as Jesus reminds them that everything he taught comes directly from the Father. To help them remember and obey his teaching, Jesus promises them the Holy Spirit, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Just as the Father sent his son Jesus, the Father sends the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name, revealing the divinity of the Holy Spirit, the connection between Father, Son and Holy Spirit, giving authority to all that the Spirit will teach them: Jesus’ teaching. For the early believers, the most important thing about the gift of the spirit of truth, is that the Spirit is holy. The Holy Spirit has the same character as God, as the Father and the Son, a Spirit to be completely trusted.

Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the parakletos, which means “Helper, Counselor, Encourager, Mediator.” Most Greek dictionaries emphasize “Helper.” The Holy Spirit is given to provide us with help in difficult times. In giving the Holy Spirit, Jesus gives them peace. This peace through the Holy Spirit brings knowledge, strength, and courage in the difficult and exciting times that lie ahead. The Spirit teaches “panta,” or “all things,” helping us remember everything Jesus taught, everything we need to know of the kingdom of heaven, of God the Father, and of himself and how we’re saved through Jesus.

It's clear the disciples didn’t understand everything Jesus taught them; but later on, they remember what he’d said and finally understand. That comes as we mature in our faith, as the Holy Spirit teaches us; but we need to be humble and listen and learn. John Calvin sees the Scriptures, not as timeless truths but as the participatory engagement of God with human persons. This engagement happens through the Holy Spirit. Martin Luther writes that Jesus “must be a Saviour and Redeemer from real, great, grievous and damnable transgressions and iniquities, yea, and from the very greatest and most shocking sins…. you will have to get used to the belief that Christ is a real Saviour and you are a real sinner.” The Holy Spirit convicts us of this, and our need for Jesus as our Saviour.

On this Pentecost Sunday, we celebrate the presence of the Holy Spirit as the helper God sends, but the Spirit’s also given to us to convict us of our sin, John 16:7–8, “But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment….” We’re given a way to live by God and Jesus through the commandments and teachings to help us grow into the image of God we’re created in, and flourish as his people. It takes trust and faith in the way of Jesus, especially when it counters what our culture teaches.

There are things we’re taught, when we receive the information, but don’t really understand it until a situation comes up and suddenly it makes sense. Jesus taught often about bearing our crosses, yet just before this passage, the disciples were arguing about sitting on thrones instead. It’s only after Jesus’ death, resurrection, and the coming of the Holy Spirit that they finally understand that part of following Jesus involves suffering, persecution, and even death, for some of them, death on a cross. The Holy Spirit’s given to help them find peace in the suffering, faith in Jesus, but even more importantly, as Dallas Willard often said, the faith of Jesus. The Spirit gives us the strength and ability to obey Jesus and find our life in him because he gave his life for us.

We just ordained elders, a youth elder, and deacon. Let the people see your obedience to Jesus’ teachings and God’s laws and decrees, let them see and hear your faith in Jesus, help them see that you have the faith of Jesus that carries us through life. Obey in a spirit of love for God and Jesus. This looks like loving God’s people deeply, loving those who are lost and searching. Lean on the Holy Spirit to love as Jesus loves. The world will know we follow Jesus by how we love; not just those who are like us, but especially those who are difficult to love, those who are very different from us, even those who don’t believe as we believe.

We love because we’re created in the image of God. Love leads to forgiveness and reconciliation. The Holy Spirit’s given to us to help us live this, because in our own strength we’re unable to. When Jesus meets the disciples in the upper room on Easter, John 20:21–23, “Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven,” remembering we are forgiven as we forgive others!

Jesus warns us about the prince of this world, “I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.” The prince of the world is Satan, and as we learned when Satan tried to tempt Jesus in the wilderness, he has no power over Jesus. Satan comes so that the world will learn how much Jesus loves the Father, trusting completely in the Father, doing exactly what the Father has commanded him. This completely frustrates everything Satan’s trying to do to twist creation, as God created it, out of shape. Satan’s the prince of lies, this is why Jesus sends us the spirit of truth, pointing to Jesus, who is the way, the truth, and the life; helping us to keep our eyes, ears, and hearts focused on Jesus, strengthening us in our faith.

Paul emphasizes that the Holy Spirit reveals its presence in our lives by working in us to grow the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–25, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” There’s so much more to say about the Holy Spirit, but ultimately, if we fail to listen to the Holy Spirit and grow its fruit, we need to look deeper at our faith. Is our faith in Jesus, or in the things of the world? Today, listen deeply to the Holy Spirit’s teaching as the Spirit points us to Jesus’ teaching and way. Follow the Spirit in the way of Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Church Makeover - Psalm 78:1-7

 

Psalm 78 is written by Asaph, a worship leader and teacher in Israel. Psalm 78’s one in a series of psalms by Asaph which focus on God’s rule over his people and the nations. Psalms 77 and 78 focus on remembering how God has saved his people time after time after his people rebel against him time and again! These aren’t just stories, they’re our family stories too. Asaph tells of the “praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done,” reminding Israel of the statutes and decrees God’s given them to shape them into a people who reflect God to the nations as a blessing. God commands the people to teach them to the next generation so they don’t forget God and who they are as God’s people.

 

Asaph is concerned about the kind of legacy that Israel is passing on to the next generations. The most important legacy is our spiritual legacy; the way we relate to, respond to, and represent Jesus in our world. Each of us receives a spiritual legacy from the generation before us, and we will all pass down a spiritual legacy to our children and grandchildren. It’s up to us as families and as a church family, as to what that legacy will be. Over the past few weeks, we’ve focused heavily on making a deliberate decision to serve the Lord, to follow God’s laws and Jesus’ commands, focusing on building a strong foundation on Jesus for our children, and the importance of the extended family being part of shaping our children’s faith on God and Jesus through the Holy Spirit. Throughout Scripture, one of the principles we learn is that the way we live, your behaviour and beliefs, will be passed on to the next generation.

 

We see this principle in Deuteronomy 5:9–10, “You shall not bow down to them or worship them (idols); for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” God through Moses, is spelling out the reality that how you live, the things you do, the faith and trust you place in Jesus, or lack of faith, impacts down in the lives of children and grandchildren. As parents and grandparents and extended family, we pass things down to the children and youth in our families every day. They’re watching us, listening to the things we say and how we say them, they’re learning from us and imitating us. The question isn’t whether or not we’re passing anything down to our children, but what we are passing down. When our words and actions don’t match, our actions will leave the stronger impressions.  

 

The church’s role is to provide healthy family support. How can we empower families to pass on a transformational faith in Jesus to our children? Asaph encourages the people in verses 2-4, “I will utter hidden things, things from of old, things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.” We’re called to help families to talk about God in all places and at all times. John Piper writes, “If there is one memory that our children should have of our families and of our church it is this; they should remember God. God was first. God was central. There was a passion for the supremacy of God in all things.” When we talk about God and Jesus as families, share what you’ve learned about Jesus at church, in your Bible studies, from podcasts, and how we see God at work in our own lives and families.

 

In Bethel, we make it a priority to teach the children the Bible, telling them stories of God and his relationship with us. Psalm 78’s a retelling of how God saves his people. Asaph reminds us of how often and quickly we turn away from God, of how rebellious and ungrateful we easily become, it’s part of our sinful nature. Scripture reminds us of God’s covenantal relationship with us. He’ll punish, but never abandon us. He saves us again and again. We hear the stories of Noah, Jonah, David, Daniel, Peter, and others. We learn of Jesus, and how his disciples experienced getting to know him, finally understanding who he is as the Messiah; the Son of God who took our sins to the cross and washed them away through his sacrifice, who has ascended to heaven, and is preparing to return to judge the living and the dead, and reunite heaven and earth.

 

Our children need to hear our testimonies and how we see God working around us and in our lives. Sharing how you see God at work, sharing stories like, “When I was younger, Jesus helped me through this time,” or “I experienced God’s comfort, or hope, or challenge, when ….” A spiritual legacy begins with knowing that they belong to a family and church where we still today experience the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. In Bethel, Tammy is our Faith Formation Coordinator who finds and develops materials for us to take home: devotions like the Ascension Day to Pentecost devotion emailed to you, the Faith Formation board of resources found in the Sunday School/nursery hall, and the calls to prayer and regular Scripture reading, and celebrating faith milestones. If we want our children to have a faith that shapes their lives, what they believe, and their character, we need to share and model our faith in Jesus.

 

Verse 5, “He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children.” It’s important to invest in our families to help them teach our children by God’s Word. In the Bible God reveals himself to us to guide and shape us in how to flourish as his children and be a blessing. Satan’s actively trying to shape our children in his image. He uses everyday things like the internet, music, tv, or video games to fill our minds with his lies, telling us and our children that they deserve more, they can be anything they want, and the world owes them. When you bring Jesus into the center of our homes, he gives us wisdom and paths forward to live Jesus’ way of community, sacrifice, grace, and forgiveness.

 

It begins with God’s statutes and decrees and teaching them to our children. We must teach and model what following Jesus looks like in our daily lives. Our youth ministry has begun All Aboard evenings where youth, parents, and mentors gather together to learn and talk together about issues that impact our youth so we can learn together how to support each other and grow in our faith. We’re looking forward to more intentionally connect home and church to help our children grow in their faith. God’s given us his Word, it’s crucial that we be intentional in teaching and applying it.

 

The goal is “so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.” This spring at Tuesday Night Youth, the high school group studied the 10 Commandments, not just the letter of the law, but going deeper into the commandments’ spirit. As we went deeper, we saw how easily we break them, how something as simple as having lucky socks leads to idolatry. In 1 Peter 3:15-16, Peter reminds us to, “in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” Grounding our children in Jesus so they make faith in him their own, are able to share it, and live it out is at the heart of our call as families and a church; it begins with revering Jesus as Lord.

 

Asaph writes, “Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.” Obedience flows out of faith and trust in God, and gratitude for how Jesus saved us from our sin and equips us to live so others can see our faith. It’s all about trust and obedience and investing in the next generations so that they’ll follow God in their decisions, choices, and behaviour. We’re those future generations Asaph’s writing about, and we’re looking ahead to even more future generations who will serve the Lord and follow his decrees and commands. It begins with us trusting God. If we don’t really trust Jesus and show it in following his commands, why should our children? If we want our children to make choices to honour God, it starts with making sure our choices honour God.

 

Our goal as Bethel Church is to provide real support to all our families and households so each of our homes shines the light of Jesus into our community. Our desire is to help and equip our families to pass on a transforming relationship with Jesus, rooted in the saving work of Jesus. Bethel can’t do it for you, but we can do it with you; we’re committed to walking alongside you in this journey of faith.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Family Makeover - Deuteronomy 6

  

Deuteronomy means “repetition of the law,” or “second law.” Our passage happens near the end of Moses’ life as he prepares Israel to enter the Promised Land. Moses keeps repeating the commands and laws that God has given Israel in order to shape them into his people so they can reveal him to the nations. Moses has guided the people for the past 40 years through the wilderness and knows them well. He sees that the children can be just as stubborn, rebellious, and forgetful of God as their parents were. It’s because of their parent’s stubbornness, fear, and lack of trust when they refused to enter the Promised Land, that they had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years until the parents died. Now it’s only their children and grandchildren who are preparing to enter the Promised Land.

We all want our families to be strong in our faith and trust in God, and yet we’re not that different from the Israelites. We don’t always make Jesus the center and foundation of our homes; we get focused on other things, many of them really good, but often give them more priority than we give God. Last week we were challenged to begin our home makeover by choosing with Joshua, “as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” This morning we’re turning to the “repetition of the law” to see what that looks like.

The Israelites don’t have memories of the Red Sea, and Mount Sinai, and the giving of the Ten Commandments. Moses reminds them of their history, emphasizing that they’re responsible for the next generations to know the Lord and his commands. Moses calls them to obey the “commands, decrees, and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.” He gives them a long-term vision for their families, “so that your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God,” and “so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.” When you make the decision to be an “as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord,” family, and make this the foundation of your family, to live according to the laws and commands of the Lord, it will impact and shape your family: who you are, your values, priorities, and loves.

The Jews think in terms of generations. Moses mentions that God is the God of their ancestors, but also looks forward to their children and their children after them. Decisions and choices you make today impact not only yourself, but generations down the road. I’m sure you think of your children and grandchildren’s future; what values and priorities will shape their lives. If you want them to serve and love the Lord, it begins with you choosing obedience to the Lord’s ways. I think of how my grandparents immigrated to Canada after WW II so that that their children and their grandchildren would have a better life. I know from some of the stories you’ve shared with me, that this is part of your stories too. Part of the immigration story was to quickly build churches and Christian schools to center their lives on Jesus, growing our faith as an everyday faith.

Moses calls out twice, “Hear, O Israel.” The first time he calls them to obedience to the Lord so that it will go well for them. In the second “Hear O Israel,” Moses gives us what’s called the Shema, “The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” 5 times Moses uses the word you or your; our family makeovers begin with you and your commitment to carefully obey the law of the Lord, to keep the commands of Jesus.

Obedience is rooted in the love of God, “Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and strength.” This is the greatest commandment; Jesus uses this verse to summarize the first half of the Ten Commandments which Moses had reminded them of in the previous chapter. This is what God wants, a genuine love that flows through our whole life, a love freely given and expressed in our daily lives, leading to a blessed life for those who commit themselves to obeying God. Jesus later tells his followers, “If you love me, you will keep my commands.”

The Law was given to Israel as a gift at Mount Sinai right after God freed them from slavery to Egypt and her gods. Jesus’ commands keep us free from falling into slavery to the gods of our day. When we live in obedience to Jesus, we find freedom. “What would our family and friends say we love with all our heart, soul, and strength?” Remember, what you love is what your children will learn to love.  

Our family makeover is shaped by your commitment to carefully obey the will and commands of God. If you don’t, why would you expect the next generations to? How do we pass our faith on to our children and grandchildren and all the children and youth of our church family? As mentioned last week, it begins with you serving the Lord, loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, and strength. You can’t pass on what you don’t have. Then you have to model it out in your own life, walking the talk every day, not just on Sundays. This love is to be cultivated like seeds. The people are told to keep the words in their heart; to always be aware of them, to live them out.

But it’s not always easy to live this way. The Search Institute discovered that 48% of church youth see their mom as very religious, 23% of them see their dad as very religious, 28% of them have talked with their mom about faith, while 13% of them have talked with their dad about faith. I pray our statistics in Bethel are better than this, but it shows us that faith walk and talk isn’t happening nearly as often as it could or should. When we look at some of the reasons faith talking isn’t happening as often in our homes; we see how churches and family worship have changed over the past 75 years.

Shortly after WW II, churches began separating the family by age with younger children leaving part way through the service for Sunday School, hiring youth pastors that focused on youth worship and faith formation, and slowly parents began to expect the church to train up their children in the faith. Churches enabled this by creating ministries that are church centered instead of coming alongside the homes and equipping them to be the centers of faith formation, where “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up,” are the normal part of our family life. We’re to do this by reciting them at home and away, that means everywhere! Car rides are great times to talk about faith and life. We’re to do this when we rise and lay down, all day long. The Jews were to bind them physically on their hands and fix them on their foreheads, to write them on their doorposts and on their gates. They’re to literally submerge their whole family each day in God. God doesn’t teach us to drop our children off for the church to teach them the faith, or for the church to not engage the parents and grandparents and extended family, but to join with them in raising our children in the faith.

Moses calls the people to “Fear the Lord, your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. Do not follow other gods.” Just like in Moses’ time, there are plenty of gods enticing us to follow them and they will give us our heart’s desires, but they only give us an illusion of what we want. When tragedy comes, they abandon us in our brokenness and hurt because their promises are all empty air. My brother and sister-in-law lost a son to SIDS. Do you really think any of the gods of today, whether they’re pleasure, wealth, beauty, sports, or work could have comforted them? No! It was their faith in God that carried them through, faith learned from our parents and grandparents who lived through hard times and shared how knowing that through Jesus’ death and resurrection, one day they’ll be reunited again with their son.

Parents and grandparents are the primary ones responsible for raising the family in the faith. Faith formation begins at home, but is strongly supported by the church. Church is responsible for coming alongside the parents, equipping them, encouraging them, being part of your extended family as mentors, friends, and non-bio family. What simple practical steps can you take to love and serve God as family; how can Bethel come alongside you?

The Extended Family Makeover - 2 Timothy 1:1-16; 3:14-17

When Joyce and I became parents, my younger sister always knew better than we did about how to raise our kids, even though she was only a teenager herself. I had lots of chuckles over her advice after she became a parent years later. Raising kids to grow deep and strong in the faith and in character is hard work, and honestly, parents need help. In Biblical times, most families lived together as multi-generational families; that’s not the norm today.

Paul takes a young man, Timothy, and disciples him. Paul’s more than a mentor, he sees Timothy as a son, investing in him like he’s family. Paul becomes a spiritual father to Timothy, helping him to pastor a difficult church in Ephesus. This was a city steeped in emperor worship, with a major temple to the goddess Artemis, and where you could find many magic cults. It’s in this city that Timothy’s preaching the gospel of Jesus which refuses to accommodate cults, creating pushback. Timothy needs someone like Paul to encourage him; to be a trusted person keeping him focused on Jesus.

A couple of weeks back, we looked at the major influences on a person’s faith and the importance of family: mothers influenced 81% of the males and 74% of the females, fathers 61% of the males and 50 of the females, pastors 57% of the males and 44% of the females, and grandparents 30% of the males and 24% of the females. When I became a youth pastor and then a pastor, I experienced how often I’m looked to as role model because of absent or busy fathers or family.

Paul’s reminded of Timothy’s faith, and like most children today, his faith comes from the Holy Spirit through his mother and grandmother. Paul becomes someone who fills an extended family role in Timothy’s life. Paul fills in for an absent father, grandparent, or extended family member role. Even when we as fathers or grandfathers are present, there’s still great value in our sons having another man of faith be like a trusted uncle, and for our daughters, having another woman of faith be like a trusted aunt to them.

We become an extended spiritual family when we embrace the responsibility of spiritually mentoring our church’s children. Paul refers to Timothy as a son in 1 Timothy, “my true son in the faith,” and in 2 Timothy, “my dear son.” Paul accepts his responsibility to help Timothy to grow in the faith, committing big-time. Do we? We’re responsible for the spiritual development and growth of the children and youth God puts in our lives and church. Paul writes to Timothy in what we call a circular letter, a letter meant to be read out loud to the church and then copied and shared with other churches. Paul takes a very public and personal responsibility for being in Timothy’s life, even though Timothy’s not related to him. Paul doesn’t have any children of his own, he’s single, yet he accepts his responsibility to pass the faith on to the next generation. Each one of us has a role to play in growing our children in the faith.

Maybe you’re a grandparent and your grandchildren live far away. There’s lots of children and youth here in Bethel who could use a spiritual grandparent, aunt or uncle, or spiritual friend. But you can also make a difference in your own grandchildren’s lives, even when they’re far away. In Allendale, Michigan, a group of grandparents got together once a month over the winter to write letters and cards to their grandchildren who lived away from home. It started for the university students, but over time it got extended to the grandchildren of all ages. They’d write to their own grandchildren, but then they would each take one or two of each other’s grandchildren to also write them a card or short letter. Other seniors began coming who didn’t have any grandchildren to also write letters to the children of the congregation. They prayed over all the letters and cards before placing them in the mail. When the grandchildren of the congregation would come home, they’d mention how important it was for them to receive these gifts of love from the congregation, knowing they’re being prayed for, and over, every month. It reminded them of God’s love for them. Own the responsibility of pouring faith and love into the lives of the children, even the adult children of Bethel. Your wisdom and experience are gifts from God: share them.

Prayer and Scripture need to be foundational in our extended family relationships. Paul writes Timothy, “I constantly remember you in my prayers.” Pray for our children. It’s powerful, praying for God to be part of their lives. Let them know that you’re praying for them. It’s so uplifting to know that someone is praying for you, taking time to regularly talk to God about you. Paul also prayed with Timothy in a number of his letters written with Timothy; Colossians 1:3, “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you,” and 1 Thessalonians 1:2, “We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.” Praying together helps us grow closer together and with God.

Scripture’s important in our relationships. Paul reminds Timothy, “from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Scripture’s the story of God and his relationship with his people. The Jews read Scripture as their family story, something we need to remember; it’s our family story too. At the heart of spiritual training is the Bible. Rely on it for truth, values, and direction to raise your children. Solomon teaches in Proverbs 22:6, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” Paul encourages Timothy to continue in what he’s learned, and in his first letter, to set an example in his life, and to devote himself to publicly reading Scripture, preaching and teaching.

The strength of a strong spiritual family is that it allows you to be vulnerable and humble. Paul writes, 1 Timothy 1:12-16: “I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” Paul admits his past was anti-Jesus, sharing this with Timothy, trusting Timothy, taking the chance that Timothy might reject him because of his past. This takes deep humility, yet can lead to stronger relationships. Paul admits he needs God’s grace as much as everyone else.

George Barna writes, “Another teaching tool that helps many parents is their willingness to tell personal stories and integrate some degree of personal vulnerability into their narrative in order to capture attention and drive home a point . . . When parents effectively describe a compelling life event that resulted in personal transformation, children are more likely to glean valuable wisdom from the story.” When you share personal stories with some vulnerability of life events that brought change, it impacts children and helps them gain precious wisdom from the stories. Through your stories, you help them learn to recognize their gifts and how to use and develop them.

We underestimate the importance of having people in our extended families who show us how to live for Jesus. Paul writes, 1 Corinthians 4:16–17, “Therefore I urge you to imitate me. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.” Paul reminds us that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, as my mom would say. Paul encourages Timothy to imitate him as he imitates Jesus. Timothy learns what living for Jesus looks like from watching Paul.

For me, it was a church elder, Jack. He loves God, but made mistakes. He never made excuses, always owned up to them publicly, and worked hard to change. His humility and integrity always encouraged me. Jack helped me see how repentance and sanctification are a life long journey, and to show grace for those who trying their best, even when they fail. Do kids see you as humble, learning, growing Christians who need God’s grace just as much as they do? If you want to know what kind of a follower of Jesus you’re raising up, look in the mirror. It’s easy to not be involved, we’re too much like our culture which tells us to do easy and shallow instead of deep and hard in our relationships and responsibilities.

When we intentionally take responsibility for growing our children spiritually, making prayer and Scripture foundational in our relationships, when we’re real and vulnerable and humble, and encourage and prepare our children to use their gifts while modelling the Chistian life to them, we become family. Are you in?